I am still there....

Always on the run 
Chasing our dreams
We met each time -
Stood a while together
Among gaping crowds
Spoke, unspoken words
Yearning to share
Yet afraid, afraid Of ourselves
All around us

People cheering, leering
And we, like spectacles
Amidst all the madness
Trying to live a moment Of truth
A glance, a touch
A feeling to hold on to And move on…
The last time we sat together
Waiting for a flight
I remember I’d said,
‘There must be another way
Of living this life!’
For a long time You remained silent

Then,
Without blinking
Without turning
Said,‘There isn’t’
Today You are gone, and
I’m still running…
Still tryingTo prove you wrong . . .

No showers for VARSHA

VARSHA craves to fly
Married at 16; need wings to fly at 30

Its India - not the one where tall towers are touching the sky but the one where there is no electricity, water or food, not the one where woman are equal to  man earning big bucks and riding BMWs but the one where the birth of a girl child is still a boon, not the India where girls like me have a freedom to study subjects of my interest, earn and spend as much as I wish to but the one where females are doing the dirtiest of jobs just to get food, not the one where you fall in love, live the feeling for years and then marry when you wish to but the one where you are forced to leave your childhood games and play with your own individual self - a game where you are the puppet in the hands of so called destiny!

Mumbai- the commercial capital of India where mostly people come with dreams and then struggle everyday to achieve it. This city is full of migrants that usually relocate themselves from small villages and towns to earn their livelihood and support their families. All these migrants have their own stories - very unique and touching.

Varsha was born and brought up in a lower middle class family in a village of Maharashtra. Her parents struggled with all sort of jobs to feed their kids and give them education - if available. Yes, its not just about education for all, its about availability for all, as well. Most of the rural areas are still deprived of the so-called must have 'Literacy for all.' Campaigns and yojanas that we keep hearing all the time in all possible political agendas and plans are just heard not yet implemented. As soon as Varsha turned 16, her parents got her married to a man she never met or even saw. For her there were no choices, she was the eldest and had to leave so that her other sisters get married at the so-called right age. 

Marriage for Varsha was just a term and little did she know what this term had in store for her. She had to leave her small village and move to Mumbai as her husband had his job there. Unaware and unprepared she flew where the wind was blowing her. From village to city, from a big family to just one companion and from the freedom of living her childhood her way, she was now a married girl with a responsibility to cook, clean, feed and all that accompanied. The so-called destiny had molded her little self and she was learning, learning to be a woman from just a 16-year old girl.

Seven years of marriage, Varsha is now a mother of  five kids. Her husband works hard to earn a living but its getting tougher day-by-day. Forgetting the childhood and herself, Varsha now lives for her kids. She now manages full-house and five kids and that too with excellence but money is a problem. The tensions and scarcity of money has turned her husband into an alcohol-lover which brings on extra pressure on her. Her kids are never properly fed or given necessary medication which results to diseases like polio, typhoid, jaundice hovering on her house every now and then. She is trapped and wants to break-free from this net of sorrow. Day-by-day this feeling is getting stronger and she is becoming more and more immune to her own pain, all that she desires is happiness for her kids which is in proper meals, medication and education for them. Those little eyes are letting her see her own reflection - and she doesn't want them to go through all that life had in store for her. 

Varsha starts her struggle with getting out of the house and doing things that would get some food for her kids. She is a fighter and that's what life had made her. No job was considered bad by her and she did it all. This stage of life was her learning school and she excelled!

Varsha is now an oil-massager for new-born kids and mommies earning more than what her husband gets. Her husband too is placed as a driver in one of her clients house all because of her. She struggles the entire day, leaving her kids at home doing errands to get as much money as she can for the future of her kids. Her household conditions have stabilised and she is doing her best to give education to all her kids. Varsha is living the struggle that life had gifted her but she needs wings- wings to fly high just to gain that inner peace, just to live for herself!

P.S. Based on a true story seen, heard & felt from the main character herself!

Him...

She smiled, remembering his laugh, his stories, and their time together. Then she remembered him. She frowned.

D Dubai Diary

A wonderfully crafted city of infrastructural excellence - DUBAI has really won my heart! My stay of over 10 days in this beautiful city which basically was for the birth of my niece turned out to be really interesting....From spending time with my lil princess to exploring the city on my own, all of it was an experience to remember.

The only thing that was in my mind when I decided on the trip was Shopping - Loads and loads of it... But, these ten days turned out to be completely different from what I planned. Walking through the shiney, brand-full malls and the Dubai Creek, watching the sun go down the beautiful and never ending beach of Jumeirah, catching the stars in a moonlit night over the desert sky during desert safari… there’s so much more to Dubai.


Dubai is a juxtaposition of extremes – from being home to the world’s tallest tower to a marvel such as Palm Jumeirah, it's really a man-made wonder. It’s vibrant, well-planned and a growing city where people from all over the world are striving to make it a true international city. Modern technology is pitted here against absolute consumerism.

In Dubai you could enter the world's tallest tower and reach on top of the124th floor in seconds, sky-dive, take a camel ride, or zoom down in a land cruiser on the desert sand, have the world’s most expensive cocktail or dine in the highest restaurants in the world, swim with the dolphins or watch the sun go down sipping your drink from a terrace lounge in an expensive hotel, shop for the best brands from all across the world - All of the luxury well-defined just for you......

Each and every building in Dubai was a wonder in itself, the shape, size, the designs and not to forget was the lightning works on each and every one was just WOW.....Flashy cars, beautiful roads, huge malls, gold shine, musical fountain, good food ....its a long list!!!!!!!!


I also briefly touched on the rain in Dubai, which in itself is a wonder because it normally doesn't rain in Dubai as told to me by the locals. Well, the downpours and the thunder and lightning continued for the rest of the day starting from mid-night which made the car-drive to the city all the more magical especially the drive to Jumeirah beach.

I was in the city when UAE also happened to celebrate its 41st National Day. Therefore, I also witnessed the beautiful decoration and luring discounts in various shopping malls. :)


Apart from the marvels of infrastructure and shopping fun, I loved Dubai roads. Though the locals residing in the city find some of the rules and laws irritating, I appreciate each and every rule right from the strict driving laws to the security procedures. Some of the marvels like the toll-scan bridges really impressed me...wish we could have something like this in India :(

Loved Dubai and would definitely visit it for exploring it all the more!!!!!

Astrology has a history but it does not make history.

Astrology has a history but it does not make history. Rather I would say it doesn't make a future as well.

Now this is something that I strongly agree with-----According to Fr. Stanley Harakas, when we pay attention to horoscopes, palm readings, tea leaves, and the like, we deny both the Kingship of God and the fact that He created each of us in His image — complete with the free will to accept or reject Him by choosing to do right or do wrong. He did not create us to be victims of the stars. Astrology “is a denial the fundamental truths of the Christian Faith… [and] of the Christ-like way of living — something to be rejected as un-Christian!”

Trying to understand what so many Indians believe in without any proper understanding, I decided to research the same coz I believe in logic and not a trend. Finally reading a couple of articles, analysing the concepts and sayings, I stick to calling it all a nonsense and nothing else. 

I don't understand why are we humans so insecure about our own lives? Why do we need someone to tell us what we are and what's good and bad for us? Don't we have the capabilities and courage to pave a path for us which is the right path and that I would call is the path of God! Love God and not fear him... Why is there a need of all this nonsense of astrology and jyotish vidya which I guess  is surviving in our country is coz  we humans crave for a perfect life, loads of money, love and prosperity which is in short GREED FOR BEING PERFECT! That is the reason why we keep on running to these so called enlightened individuals every now and then to get some hope or a understanding of what's in store for us. 

I disagree to all this so called science of astrology...I live each moment of this life as mine with me on the drivers seat paving my own path....I don't need anyone telling me what I am and whats's in store for me coz its life and I am ready for all ups and downs coz I am God's child and I believe in just him!!!!

MASSAGES & More - All the more!!!

Just now I am missing something - in this strenuous day-to-day life... the general daily routine there has to be days which differ.....Now I am missing that day right at this point in time on my office desk after a heavy lunch...

My bones are craving for it!!!!!!

A day when I am instructed to lie, face down, on the massage table. The lights are dimmed, a mild 'aromatherapy' type, beautiful fragrance is sprayed into the surrounding air, the body is swaddled in soft, deep pile towels and the massage is ready to begin.

I can just feel it with my eyes closed.....

A hot compress is firmly applied to the base of the feet. The pressure shifts, smoothly, to the legs. The calves are kneaded, then squeezed, rubbed, gently thrummed until the resistance and stiffness start dissolving away.

A day when the human expert hands take charge and the body succumbs before a higher power.

As the process progresses from feet to calves, then knees and thighs, up through the back and neck to the crown of the head, the mind starts to seemingly disconnect from the rigid connection with the body and drift lazily away.


I am coming coming to that heaven soon !!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't be blind guys have faith in yourself!

After a long period of time, a bollywood movie has really made me proud. Umesh Shukla and Akshay Kumar good job :)

But more than appreciating them, I researched a bit on it to find out who was behind the original thought process of this story n presentation. Then I came to know that Oh My God is an adaptation of a play called Kanji Viruddh Kanji which itself is inspired by the Australian film, The Man Who Sued God.

So the pat on the back goes to the true originators but still I am very thankful to Akshay Kumar coz of him, I actually witnessed a movie that I so connect with. Every word, dialogue, drama each and every minute is what I truly believe in. Oh My God makes a compelling argument against the commercialization of religion, which is the main issue in Indian society. Yes it indeed is, we Indians are so degraded by this nonsense that our thought process has actually become meaningless. I am here not pointing fingers at anyone I don't know, but people whom I know and interact on a daily basis. Almost everyone goes to the rescue of religion in their own weird ways instead of facing the truth. It is really disappointing yet such a vast n never ending belief that sometimes pulls you away towards it on the mere number factor. My ancestors did so I am and will therefore force it on the coming generation too. It is just never-ending and amidst all this blind religious drama, movies like this gives such a relief to people like me. Yes I believe in God undoubtedly but not in religion!!!!!!N there is a huge difference here. 

OMG makes a solid case against blind faith, the excesses of religious rituals, and the self-appointed "collection agents" of God, and that's exactly what we Indians need to come out of...Faith is understood and accepted but not at the cost of truth.

What else can I say...go watch it and its highly recommended!!!!!!!

Mummmm phase!

Have you ever felt that feeling when you have so much to say or so much to express, but you don’t know where to start? And when you don’t know where to start from, you keep mum.

Yeah. That’s me right now. It is an overwhelming feeling which is like the kind that hits you when you’re with someone you love and there’s no paucity of content worth discussing.

There’s quite a lot of stuff that I want to write about, but I have been busy with life in general and have hence been unable to get back here.

In any case, some writing is better than no writing at all. 

NOTHING IS FAIR IN INDIA :(

GAAR- News that is up there on all news channels and financial discussions. Much talked about and being debated on for quite sometime now. What is GAAR and y is it being so debated on?

Apparently, GAAR is terrible for FII. GAAR attempts to ensure that FIIs actually pay tax on profits they realise from the conduct of market transactions in India. It doesn't matter that the tax be paid in India, mind.Even if they pay it in some other jurisdiction, and can prove this, they needn't pay in India.

 Now FIIs don't like that. Why don't they like it? Because (i) they would have to reveal the SOURCE of the money they are bringing in and (ii) they would have to reveal the destination of the money going out. 

As a small participant in the financial markets. Here's what happens to me. FIRST my income gets taxed at source. Then I take my post-tax income and invest it in the market. Then, when this generates a profit, it gets added back to my income and I pay tax on it yet AGAIN. Unlike these nice FII people who need to be treated SPECIALLY.

We are talking about institutional investors here, not direct investors. These are NOT people who are building factories, setting up universities or research laboratories, bringing in new technologies, strengthening our roads, dams, ports or power stations. They are gamblers playing short term punts in the Indian markets. 

If they think the Rupee is going to harden against the dollar, they will happily buy Indian paper and exit it as soon as it delivers their profit benchmark. If they think Indian equities are going to take a hammering, they will not hesitate to sell short and cover as the markets tank. They are not putting money into the ground, which having gone in, takes a few years to start producing an yield, and what is more, is nearly impossible to liquidate and exit. They are putting money into  NSE, BSE, NCDEX and so on.

An individuals money at least isn't hot money. Everyone knows and the government makes sure it is revealed where is the individual income coming from And that fully honest money is treated systematically worse than money that some FII shuffles out of India and then shuffles back.......

How is that a fair tax system? 

Again a thought....

Do you ever wonder what your life looks like through someone else's eyes?




So post and let me know!


I wanna know it all - The perspective It matters!

We cannot hide who we are!

I understood then that we cannot hide who we are.  


Maybe for a day, a date, a blog post, a single speech, but not really.  Our grounding, or that place from which we stand to look and see the world, cannot be hidden.  All of those parts of us we deem unworthy, unattractive, immature and unholy, are the very parts that bind our hearts together with the spiritual strings of compassion and hope, a hope that we too will be seen in our fullness someday with love. And the beauty is, that desired someday doesn’t have to wait.  In the very moment we look into the mirror of others with a kind and benevolent spirit, we see ourselves the same.


In other words, how we see the world and others is closely linked to how we see ourselves.  

Understand Stock markets the real way :0

Today, I am in the mood to give gyaan and what's a better way to give gyaan then to write your heart out and share it :) Now, this time I don't wanna speak on philosophical stuff, relationships, my mood, weather and all, lets talk business today. Now, this inspiration came after reading a research report on Kel Kelly's blog so it consists of examples given by him....Enjoy!


In one way or the other, each one of us have an understanding of the stock markets. Don't we? Now, this takes me back to days when I was teaching Business Journalism to BMM third year students and on the very first day I asked them the same question. All I got was googled answers and definitions of the same....What is really a stock market if we want to understand it the real way without googling the same. Everything, according to me, can be defined by the way it functions. The stock markets does not work the way most people think. There is a commonly held belief- that a stock market boom is the reflection of a developing economy as the economy progresses, companies make more money and stock value rise.  Similarly, a stock market bust goes the other way when there is a drop in consumer and business confidence and spending due to inflation, rising oil prices, high interest rates that results in a decline in profits of businesses and rising unemployment. Now, whatever might be the cause of a weakening economy it results to a fall in company revenues and falling stock  prices ultimately. This is what we have read  and heard from most investment professionals. This understanding and explanation is absolutely correct technically but technicals is what I stay away from. So, lets emerge out of these theories and look at it differently....


The only real force that makes a stock market or any market rise or fall is simply the change in quantity of money and volume of spending in any economy. Stocks rise when there is more money in the economy and in the markets.


It is all about that simple maths formula P=D/S. In this formula Price (p) is determined by demand (d) divided by supply (s). Which means, that it is mathematically impossible for aggregate prices to rise by any means other than increasing demand and decreasing supply that is by either more money being spent to buy goods or fewer goods sold in an economy. The same formula can be applied to asset prices - stocks, bonds, house, commodities etc. It is very well suitable to be applied to corporate revenues.


Markets cannot rise continually without more money inflow. Right? There are of course other ways a market witness rise but thats temporary. Whatever is the country's population, it is using finite quantity of money accompanied by publics ability to add additional funds to the market in order to drive prices higher.


What links stock markets to country's economy? An increase in money and credit is what pushes both GDP and stock markets.

A developing economy is one in which more goods are produced and its the real stuff not money which represents real wealth. The more TVs, cards, clothes, food the better is the state of an economy. If goods are produced faster....faster than money, prices will fall. A constant supply of money makes the wages to remain the same while prices will fall but even when prices rise because money is created faster than goods, prices fall in real terms because wages rise faster than prices. So, by this logic growing economy consist of prices falling not rising. Now that tells us GDP does not actually mean number of goods and services being produced. It only tells us if GDP is rising, the money supply is rising to some degree. Otherwise, with a constant supply of money and spending, the total amount of money companies earn the total selling prices of all goods produced and thus GDP will remain constant.The same concept would apply to the stock market: if there were a constant amount of money in the economy, the sum total of all shares of all stocks taken together could not increase. Plus, if company profits, in the aggregate, were not increasing, there would be no aggregate increase in earnings per share to be imputed into stock prices.

Neither the stock market nor GDP can rise on a sustained basis without more money pushing them higher. An improving economy neither consists of an increasing GDP nor does it cause the overall stock market to rise.

What we are really seeing is our currency being devalued by the addition of new currency issued by the central bank. The prices of stocks, houses, gold, etc., do not really rise; they merely do better at keeping their value than do paper bills and digital checking accounts, since their supply is not increasing as fast as are paper bills and digital checking accounts. When the government creates new money and inserts it into the economy, the new money increases sales revenues of companies before it increases their costs; when sales revenues rise faster than costs, profit margins increase. Since business sales revenues increase before business costs, with every round of new money printed, business profit margins stay widened; they also increase in line with an increased rate of inflation. This is one reason why countries with high rates of inflation have such high rates of profit. During bad economic times, when the government has quit printing money at a high rate, profits shrink, and during times of deflation, sales revenues fall faster than do costs.

So, whats important  and what is the real indicator is MONEY SUPPLY. Therefore, following monetary indicators would be the best insight into future stock prices and GDP growth.

I am alive...

Over the past several weeks when I lost what I earlier wanted in life I've come to see the pattern of how things emerge when I am finally able to allow myself to think about things I had been blocking out.  It usually takes a few days- at first there is a thought and then the thought kind of vanishes.  Then there will be another small piece or idea- then it be like I am starting to know what I am thinking.  It is hard to explain because it is a strange process.  But it is strange too to not know fully all of my own thoughts in one space and instead to have them 'compartmentalized'.

I think the reason it takes a few days for me to fully form the thoughts is that there is a kind of 'sharing' happening in my brain and between the different streams of my thought.  And there is my dissociation and the difficulty of tolerating now things I'd not been able to tolerate in the past.

Anyway- I've become familiar with the pattern.

And oh what a week it's been... it was painful- but I am ok.  And I'm actually doing really well because this enormous thought/feeling that I needed to say has been said. So now I am feeling good.  And relieved.  And even when something feels 'off' or difficult.... I feel like I have this very different point of reference- a thing to remind myself of that pulls me back into reality and clarity- at the same time.  A new point of reference.  And the getting it out felt like it was going to KILL me.... but it didn't.  I do feel better.  A lot better.

GREEDY GADGET FREAK

A year ago I bought a mobile device. It was black, it was ugly, it was my first BlackBerry, and I loved it. I could now receive email 24 hours a day and keep abreast of the news wherever I found myself on the planet, something that proved to be very useful as I belonged to the financial services planet . It was not perfect by any means. Access to the internet was slow and inconsistent, but the email never failed, and it I really had to try hard to break it. Crucially, it was reliable and never failed.  My BlackBerry was essential. Just how essential it had become only became clear when it stopped working. It has stopped working many times before, but only as a result of my own carelessness.  My BlackBerry, one fine day, finally failed. Then the search began for a new addiction....I went back inside and began looking at iPhones, Samsumg Galaxys and even Nokia phones, wondering which mobile device maker I would have to work deal with. It was a horrible moment. None of them had the same keyboard, and i was afraid of touch screens just are not my thing. Finally after a lot of discussions, advices and research I got myself a Samsung Galaxy Note - a superb combination of phone + tablet and thats what attracted me to it. I am now in love with my phoneblet but today again I have a desire when I came across an article on iPhone 5................GREEDY GADGET FREAK is all I am!

How do you want the world to miss you?

On my chat window, after a while, I realized that I was missing a few alphabets and using a few words repeatedly. We all, I suppose, usually omit random alphabets while writing. What took my attention today was that I was omitting only that one alphabet...(no, i am not gonna write which one). I had developed the habit of using SMS lingo, all the time so its not a big deal but still, it bothered me. 

The other day, just visualised as I always turn my thoughts into imaginations....a scenario with my family and me. And then suddenly, I vanishing and lost from the scene. And then my memories getting erased from family’s minds. What was it after me? Did things change, how would they miss me? Nothing changed, I was just a fragment of imagination and present somewhere deep down the memory lane! My belongings did catch some attention and eventually forced them to think. They tried establishing my identity and their relationship with me. Then, they would try to understand habits related to me. But with time, habits erodes away too. My vanishing into the infinite followed by a short phase of vanishing habits will be all. They would eventually go on and wouldn’t place the omitted in their lives.

Don't we all try and figure this dilemma out? What is it when you are not in the big picture? How do you want to be missed? What is it that you want your people to relate you with?

I have had such friends in many phases of my life without whom I used to think life would cease to exist. Now I just remember their names and very few things related to those times spent with them. New people came in and took their places which obviously happened in a very gradual way. I got used to all of them till they vanished or were substituted. What bothers me the most is the fact that we people render nothing worthy, because everything and everyone, times spent in joy and oblivion, enemies and loved ones, at some point of time under some reasonable situations and circumstances can be logically forgotten.

We take pride at something and next moment we delete it. It doesn’t really matter, even if it is restored to its original place from the recycle bin. It loses it’s worth.

 Once omitted, remains omitted forever!

All humans draw the same lines!

In life, we encounter moments. Moments of love, sorrow, togetherness, solitude, friendship, craziness and much more! These moments let us discover ourselves.

There are times when people tell or rather judge us as we react to daily events in life, but we know ourselves better than anyone else and these life events act as an aid to help  us understand who we really are.

This is not a theory or philosophical conclusion but a feeling, a feeling that I discovered not when I experienced the same but when closed ones shared their moments and when I saw it happening with others too.  Hearing and witnessing it all, I felt that life is somehow similar for all of us in one or the other way. We all live through similar phases and react  to them in a not so different manner.

We are born, experience and see life through our parents eyes holding their hands. Then, we grow up, we learn   and feel life with a pure heart exploring all that comes in front of us, then we grow a little more older and try and mold our lives the way we want. Then comes desires, dreams and visions. We either catch these desires, or invent them on our own. We work towards getting the one we love, our favorite dress, that costly watch and much more and we all do it..... its just that there are a few variations in what we aspire for.

We all feel the same pain its just the intensity and the type that is different. We all like sad songs, solitude and alcohol when we are in the phase  of life where the drama takes over. That is the time all the motivational quotes and books become our best friends. That is how we rejuvenate and are born again. We discover and get over the phase and enter another one and life just keeps going on and on......

So, all us humans draw the same lines and walk  these lines in a similar manner. The only difference is the pace and style of it! 

State of mind

I so seem to hate everyone around me....ek kadvahat si hai zamaaane se just unable to control these illogical emotions!

OUTSOURCING mess and much more!

Being in the corporate world from almost 5  years now, I have sort of deeply analysed different corporate structures & functioning. and ALL that I have witnessed makes me think....

There is one thing that really amazes me and that is the way big/small corporates are preferring OUTSOURCING!

One thing that almost all companies prefer getting outsourced is the creatives....Now by creatives, I don't mean just the advertisement part of it but a lil more than that. Companies these days are getting all the new launches, product additions, marketing solutions, online media marketing, and much more outsourced. and That's what makes me wonder why do companies have their own marketing/sales/creative/product/design teams inhouse when almost everything is outsourced????? Either I am getting it wrong or companies like to spend extra money in getting one task done in two ways.

All these questions have hit my mind coz I have been seeing all these working patterns in almost all corporate structures I have come across. There is a product team but their major products are outsourced and all that the inhouse team does is launch it. There is a design team that works on the creatives and marketing of their stuff   but there is also a outsourced agency that does the same taking away a fat pay cheque every year. There is a whole lot of services that a company provides but there is a knowledge partner that does work for them in a similar way. PHEW! I see a whole lot of drainage of wealth here.....

I think its a good idea to get the best from the industry to do the work for you for your service requirement, it gives a better outcome but the question is why the in-house mess then? Doesn't it cost a whole lot of money to get one kinda work done in two ways forget money doesn't it wastes time and extra effort?

I guess its time for corporates to rethink their working style.....I mean its for their own good :)

Its an important day...

This day needs to be marked, this day will never be forgotten and this day buries all the other days :) Keep it coming, now life is crystal clear!

Does “Happiness” mean we Just Chill?

Doesn't a day on the beach feels a lot better than burning your ass out in the office?  Does that give you real happiness? 

Now when can a person just CHILL all the time? Most likely when you've built up an empire, achieved all sort of material/immaterial happiness and now all that you do is just chill out with nothing on your mind? I wanna know which person is living such kinda life and is that person really happy? 

What makes a person happy? 

Achieving full-fledged happiness and being happy all the time is difficult. Yes it is atleast in this era :(

I feel happy when I am away from the human race? Beaches, sea-side is the place to be according to me. But, what I feel is beaches are more enjoyable when you have accomplished many things before arriving. But, is that possible? 

Happiness is much more than mere recreation or relaxation. 

Material possessions are important to keep one happy. Yes these possessions are awesomely important, largely because they were designed by other people with good ideas and sensibilities according to me. 
But sometimes I wonder, Is it just me who like material stuff? No, of course its not the case. People who talk trash about materialism often love it the most. Don't they?

Wealth is not inherently evil, and hating all rich people is doing yourself a disservice. Love rich people and be rich :)

I have been thinking a lot on the happiness science, trying to understand and achieve it as well!
I’m also just a really happy person, but with little shocks attached to it just like those menopause breaks. The breaks due to life's so called dramatic and real changes. 

Concluding my state from my thinking process, I would call myself a HAPPY human being :)
How did I get so fucking happy? I can barely even say the word happy without “fucking” in front of it.  HAHAHA!

Yes my happiness is just spending some time with myself, with my material possessions, living with my principles and a new wish everyday :) Yes, a day on the beach feels a lot better when I have left behind an image of me in peoples heart, respect, love and most important an impression! It will feel a lot better — ideally, when I’ve built up an empire and my people are happily chilling taking all the pleasures from  my life’s work in my absence while I relax.

Meaning is more important than walking around with a greasy-idiot smile on your face all fucking day. People who pursue happiness directly probably won’t succeed. There’s nothing wrong with money, possessions, and desiring the respect of those whom you respect.

And people who care only about their own happiness don’t deserve any. :)